Humour

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“I’m going to have a little one,” said the girl, so gay and frisky.

And the boyfriend up and fainted (Then she told him she meant whiskey).

* * * * * * *

Alfred had been married to lovely Arlene for less than a year and already he was beginning to suspect she was untrue to him.

Forced to leave town for the weekend on a business trip. Alfred explained the problem to his close friend, Wendell, and asked him to keep an eye on his wife while he was away.

Upon his return, Alfred demanded a complete account of Arlene’s activities.

“Well,” Wendell said, “the night you left a good-looking guy came over to the house. Arlene got all dressed up and they went out to a nightclub. I followed them and saw them drinking together and dancing very closely. Finally around three in the morning, they got into a cab and I could see them hugging and kissing in the back seat. I followed them back to your house and watched through the living room window while they mixed more drinks and hugged and kissed each other some more. Then they went into the bedroom and they switched out the lights, so I couldn’t see any more.”

“That’s the trouble,” exclaimed Alfred. “Always that element of doubt!”

* * * * * * *

The very proper spinster didn’t go out very often, but she’d had some important shopping to do that morning and so decided to have her lunch in what appeared to be a nice and quite respect able restaurant. With the noontime crowd, many customers shared their tables with strangers: the spinster selected a seat next to an attractive, young office girl.

The girl finished her sandwich and coffee, then settled back and lit up a cigarette.

The older woman controlled herself for a few moments and then snapped, “I’d rather commit adultery than smoke in public.”

“So would I,” said the girl. “but I only have half an hour for lunch.”

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