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Category Archives: Humour

Humour: Erotica

Humour: News in Cartoons

Chuckles of the Day




Blind Pilot?

I was flying from San Francisco to San Diego. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked.

Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be another 45-minute delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we would re-board in 30 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said:

“Keith, we’re in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”

Keith replied, “No thanks, but maybe my dog Butch would like to stretch his legs.”

All the people in the gate area came to a completely quiet standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing Eye dog!

. . . . . . . The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

. . . . . . . People scattered.

. . . . . . . They tried to change planes AND airlines!

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Fun Management Aptitude Test

Management IQ Test Question 1

How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.

This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

Management IQ Test Question 2

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

The wrong answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the door.

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.

Management IQ Test Question 3

The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?

The correct answer is: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.

This tests your memory.

OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions, correctly, you still have one more opportunity to show your abilities.

Management IQ Test Question 4

There is a broad, deep river you must cross. But it is inhabited by hungry crocodiles. How do you manage it?

The correct answer is: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting!

This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to a Leading Management Consulting firm, around 90% of the management professionals they tested got all 4 questions wrong.

(But many preschoolers got several correct answers.)

This conclusively disproves the theory that most management professionals have the brains of a four year old.




Humour: News in Cartoons

Humour

Humour: News in Cartoons

Chuckles of the Day





Kindergarten Boots

Did you hear about the teacher who was helping Jason Robert, one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost whimpered when Jason Robert said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked and sure enough, they were.

It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.

She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Jason, why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off.

He then said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them today.”

She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

She said, “Now, where are your mittens Jason?”

Jason Robert said, “I stuffed them in the toes of my boots…”

Her trial starts next week . . .

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Too Much TV for Children

Isn’t it amazing what a child, a toddler, or a kindergartner or first grader will say? They learn from imitating and repeating from what hear from their parents, siblings, friends, and yes, television. TV is a wonderful teacher. Sometimes. Sometimes NOT !

Waiting tables at the local Dew Drop Inn Café, we have a regular breakfast crowd. And from time to time we see new faces.

This morning a little boy and his mother came in for breakfast.

“Can I get you some coffee ma’am?”

“Yes, please, with sweetener.”

“And what would you like to eat this morning young man?”

“Tommy, please tell this nice lady what you want to eat for breakfast this morning?”

“Yes, mommy. I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN!” Tommy announced boisterously.

His mother was very taken back and embarrassed. “Tommy!”

Quietly and with hesitation she looked up at me.

“Eggs. He would like some eggs for breakfast.”





Mid-week Humour: News in Cartoons

Humour

Humour: News in Cartoons