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Chuckles of the Day




Proverbs from First Graders

A first grade teacher presented each of the 25 children in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Imagine the insight to be gained from this class of 6 year old children.

  • Don’t change horses ___ until they stop.
  • Strike while the ___ bug is close.
  • It’s always darkest before ___ Daylight Saving Time.
  • Never underestimate the power of ___ termites.
  • You can lead a horse to water but ___ how?
  • Don’t bite the hand that ___ looks dirty.
  • No news is ___ impossible.
  • A miss is as good as a ___ Mister.
  • You can’t teach an old dog new ___ math.
  • If you lie down with dogs, you’ll ___ stink in the morning.
  • Love all, trust ___ me.
  • The pen is mightier than the ___ pigs.
  • An idle mind is ___ the best way to relax.
  • Where there’s smoke there’s ___ pollution.
  • Happy the bride who ___ gets all the presents.
  • A penny saved is ___ not much.
  • Two’s company, three’s ___ the Musketeers
  • Don’t put off till tomorrow what ___ you put on to go to bed.
  • Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and ___ you have to blow your nose.
  • There are none so blind as ___ Stevie Wonder.
  • Children should be seen and not ___ spanked or grounded.
  • If at first you don’t succeed ___ get new batteries.
  • You get out of something only what you ___ see in the picture on the box.
  • When the blind lead the blind ___ get out of the way.
  • And the WINNER is: Better late than ___ pregnant.

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Smartest?

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out.

Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”

The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, “Not to worry, Father. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just took off with my back pack!”




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