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Chuckles of the Day

The Biker Bar

A drunken old man walks into a rough biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: “I went by your grandma’s house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man I tell you, she is one fine looking piece of ass!”

The biker looks at him and doesn’t say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad ass biker and would fight at the drop of a hat.

The old drunk leans on the table again and says: “I got it on with your grandma boy and she is really good, the best I ever had!”

The biker’s buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, “I’ll tell you something else boy, your grandma liked it!”

At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says… “Grandpa, Go home, you’re drunk.”

* * * * * * *

Cosmetic Surgery

Mildred and Harriet were having a quiet lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery in their golden years.

Mildred said, “I need to be honest with you Harriet, I’m thinking about getting a boob job done.”

Harriet responded, “Oh, that’s nothing Mildred. I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!”

“Whoa!” replied Mildred, “That’s insane… I just can’t picture your husband George as a blonde!”

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