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Chuckles of the Day

Alcohol is Bad For Your Legs

A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches little old Maxine sitting by herself…

“May I buy you a cocktail?”

Maxine: “No thank you sir, alcohol is bad for my legs.”

“Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?”

Maxine: “No, they spread.”

* * * * * * *

No Sunday Newspaper

“WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!” The little old lady calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

“Madam”, said the newspaper employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY”.

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as the little old lady was heard to mutter, “Well, shit… that’s why no one was at church today.”

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